Why higher degree?

Well, let me start with my own story.

Before I enter university for my first degree, I never thought that I am capable of being in academia. When other people are writing 'lecturer' as one of their ambition, I have always said to myself, "I wish I have that confidence" to have a dream like that. But, Allah knows best.

"Not ready for industry"

I graduated from my first degree at the age 22.  I feel I was too young at that time. Just finishing the industrial training for 3 months, I felt so exhausted dealing with people at one of a private hospital where I was placed. I chose to do industrial training in the medical laboratory of Assunta Hospital. I don't know about other medical laboratory, but in Assunta, you are expected to know all of the areas, i.e. bacteriology, biochemistry, serology, hematology, etc. (just to name some). First thing in the morning, we have to collect all the request forms in our pigeon hole. The person who collected it, is responsible to distribute all the forms to different areas depending on the request. So, we don't have time to really refresh ourselves, rest a bit after morning commute whatsoever. We need to visit the patients, collect blood (or stool or mucus) and start analyzing the samples stat. The result usually will be out on the same day (except bacteriology, of course). Alhamdulillah, I was known as one of the best student to underwent training there. It was so exhausted for me to keep the momentum until the last day as I don't want the reputation that I slowly built collapsed just because of one mistake. I think keeping the momentum is the hardest of all. 

I learn from my short training that working is an entirely different story from studying. It does not just involved your knowledge in the area, but the hateful part is when you need to get involved in the office politics. Whether you like it or not, you are making history everyday. The longer you are at one place, the more history you'll make. And, have you ever heard people have wonderful life all the time? Misfortune happens all the time whether we like it or not. Whether we welcomes it or not. From my observations, the people I'm working with in the lab are all nice to me. But, they have history with each other which made situations awkward all the time. But, I think their situation is much better than what I've heard somewhere else. Maybe their fast pace working culture helps them to disregard their disappointment they had (probably) among each other. What I remember working there is, I only had just enough time to eat and pray during lunch hour, and I worked until the clock struck 5. I had no time to sit and breath during my training. We trainers, were given the easiest task and tolerated very well if we did any mistake. But, I have to say that I didn't feel physically exhausted, I think when the 3 months had finished, I was emotionally exhausted. It could probably because of I don't like the job, although I'm good at it.

"Knowing your capabilities"

While waiting for the graduation ceremony, I took time to think of what I like doing? Who am I?

One thing you must know about me is, I lost a father 2 days after I finished matriculation. He didn't even get to see that I managed to get into University of Malaya for my degree. Alhamdulillah I was placed by the almighty in the UM instead of other university. UM is near to my home and this way, I wouldn't have to spend so much money to migrate to other city. Money was an issue at that time that some of my relatives and neighbors were questioning why I still wanted to further study in a situation like that. I did part time job as tuition teacher almost every night and of course weekends. I managed to get some pocket money without ever asking my mother for it. Sometimes the accumulated fees exceeds my expectation, so I hand some to my mother. I have a 7 year old sister at that time who needs to go to school. Then I feel that my forte is teaching. But I know I can't be a school teacher. At that point of time, I started to put my aim higher. I'd like to be a lecturer. 

My qualification allowed me to dream further. But, I don't know where to start. When I graduated, it was only me. Many of my course mate had to extend due to many reasons that I don't have to mention here. So, that made me a little bit lost of what to do next. Then one day one of senior told me a lecturer is looking for a research assistant. I met with the said lecturer. He checked my qualifications, interviewed me a bit and I was instantly accepted. So, I worked as his assistant for a year before registering as a master student. Although I was then officially working, I still did part time jobs as tutor at my free time. In conclusion, I hardly had free time. Think back, I can't believe I was that strong. But, I assure you I had a wonderful life though.

So, if you ask me why I chose this pathway is because, I know I can be a good teacher. It is what I'm good at. I have so many visions of the kind of lecturer I want to be. All I'm asking is for an opportunity. InshAllah one day, when we finally settle in Malaysia. Now, I would just keep learning and learning to be better.

The point is folks, if you are thinking of doing higher degree, please ask yourself why you want to do it? I met so many people who lose focus when they realize higher degree does not make them rich. If you think about glamour and money, higher degree could probably give you that but that would be a long long way. It's not that I want to crush your dream, just a little reality check!